Yesterday marked the official start of preorders for my book! It's out APRIL 18TH which is AMAZING! But, instead of being able to hit the ground running and doing promotion and stuff like that. I was in the ER. Here is a list of my observations in the hopes that none of you fine people ever need to experience them for yourself...
1. People are really eager to get you in a wheelchair to wheel you to the waiting room that's only a few feet away (I may have looked like I needed it though... meh)
2. Not nearly enough nurses put the EKG stickers on you in the shape of smiley faces. Missed opportunity.
3. When you can't breath well, and certainly not deeply (the reason for said visit) having the chest X-ray technician demand you breath and get exasperated when they have to do the X-ray multiple times is not your fault. Breathing is hard.
4. EKG's and X-rays are fast. Seeing the doctor who spends all of 5 minutes with you takes 5 hours
5. Apparently an 18 gauge needle for a massive IV is really big and causes a lot of bleeding. A lot. Hospital gowns needed to be changed.
6. Touching the heart monitor "sticker" on your finger causes the machine to freak out. The nurses don't like that. Don't do it, even though it's super tempting.
7. Being hooked up to a heart monitor does actually make you feel like you're about to jump-start a car battery. The movies got something right.
8. Cat scans (not sure if it's actually "cat" but I'm going with it) are weird and the contrast they put into your massive IV for the contrast during said cat scan makes you feel... not bad. But just really, really warm all over, head to toe warmth.
9. If you go to the right hospital, the doctors and nurses are really pleasant and have no intention of "keeping you overnight" despite the fact that you may have been there from 6:30 pm to 2 am. They don't grasp the irony.
10. Coming home to your SUPER excited dog after said visit is the best. The best!
In case you're wondering, I'm fine. The tests showed nothing despite the feeling of a midget sitting on my chest making it hard to breath and elevating my heart rate to near heart attack levels. Apparently, I got a thing called Pleurisy which is just a lot of inflammation around my lungs from an infection. Though the doctors seemed baffled by how i got it. So now I'm on meds. All the meds. So that's fun and EXACTLY how I wanted to celebrate the launch of preorders for my book*. My husband was a champ though. He hates needles. Like, hate them to the point of getting physically sick. But he never left my side so I guess that means he loves me.
I'm recovering now but will be posting more as I can, especially since I am really excited about the launch of "The Monster of Selkirk"!
*said no one ever.